ever feel like creepin'? I am currently in the popular "Hall of Flags" at Utah Valley University [a.k.a. the college student cat walk] and as the traffic of diverse walking victims stroll by I can't help but take the opportunity and cause awkward vibes! It's fabulous! Like this guy here with his huge backpack eating his weight in deli meat, or the three wanna-be runway models scoring an embarrassing Zero on the 'how you wear your heels' scale. I am pretty sure I have never found entertainment this good and for so cheap! BONUS! One of the perks of a college life for sure!
I have decided there is one ultimate gem in creation of a classic 'cricket' moment. You know the to often experience where there is that mutual silence and discomforting feeling between two strangers? Yes! It's pure Gold!!! The trick to achieving this peak of weird is the unusual yet constant and confident head turning gaze. When that person feels your eyes dig into the deepest depths of their vulnerable soul!!!.. . . . Well really they just notice you starring at them, then that is when you must not falter! Stay strong, consistent and comfortable with the fact that you may ruin someones day by making them feel as though the whole world is giving them the stink eye [which, by the way, I don't understand. What does the stink eye even look like? I think it is more of a stink face or a stink complete being. But I wont comment further on the subject] Anyway, now that the target has seen you looking at them and the dreaded eye contact is made you must flash the show stopping 'no teeth+big eye+stiff hand, mini wave' Combo! This is not easily done for the untrained hallway creeper. However, with the right location and a 'creep master' who appreciates a good long disturbing second, the widely desired skill can be conquered! I must say there are some indeed interesting people in the world. I must also mention the vital step prior to the rarely accomplished creep moment I am describing here. The selection of the victim.. . . . This is a crucial time prior to the eye contact that you must master. Sit mid-hallway, continuously looking left and right for a fresh herd of meat, [Just a word of advice to the more advanced creep: don't have anything on your lap, don't look busy and be up straight.] This helps you maintain the " Ha! Yes I am just sitting here to make you feel weird," look, and most importantly... smiles are forbidden until the prime moment! As you scan the hall for some good prey look for the three signs of insecurity.
1: They are alone.
2: The are carrying the maximum amount of baggage. (backpack, laptop, longboard preferably)
3: They look like they have somewhere to be. (This way their eyes are scanning & scanning, giving you a good in.)
Now as the poor helpless prey approaches look at them with deep intent. They will feel your gaze and do one of three things. They will either look at you and look away quickly hoping you didn't notice, They will look at you with a straight calm face and give you the nod [but in the back of their head freaking because a complete creep is eyeing them down] or, on the slight chance they have the guts and confidence enough, they will flash the same beautiful look at you that you are pulling on them. Great Moment when you connect with a fellow creeper! I live for this moment! Lesson plan over.
TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS!
AS FOR THE SECOND SECTION OF MY BLOG TODAY!
. . . . . . . . . . . . .There isn't one. (:
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Looking Back...
ever feel like one of the biggest laughs you can have is a walk down memory lane? Me too! I especially enjoy the journals! Re-reading my hilarious and rather pathetic middle school journals has to be one the most entertaining and embarrassing past times. I can definitely say I caused more drama for myself then I care to admit. The honest truth is, as middle school kids we are in the typical and well-known 'AWKWARD' stage. Every kid experiences this unfortunate and sometimes publicly humiliating age. Some never grow out of it [you know who you are! ok Joke!] Luckily most of us are easing into semi-normal mode around freshman year. The amount of recovery we have all depends on our exposure to social events and things of that nature. Living in the 'Series of Unfortunate Events' volume: Sigurd, meant I was doomed to be a social outcast forever! And it's all to evident in my journals and my harsh pictures. Let's go back in time for a second and paint a lovely image of Shannell in elementary school then in middle school.
From head to toe.
Try not to judge!
Butt crack part to a flat slicked down bob cut, snaggle tooth complimented by my over-sized ears and turtleneck. This is a fun intro.. . . .now to my non-matching light blue overalls with pink and pale orange striped knee high socks. Yes I was also the perfect vision of thin sporting my cage and double chin [that rhymed. cute.] I am certain every boy within 20 miles wanted me! HA!But No, the awkward personality wasn't bad enough I had to look like something from the human version of the 'Ugly Duckling' on steroids! :/ However, as hopeless as I clearly was I cleaned up quite nicely by the seventh grade. I was weaving real blonde through my hair, styling my hair and flaunting it. My style became all trendy name brand clothes and I had the attitude of a Hollywood diva. Boys were beginning to flock to me! Now let's keep in mind these are seventh and eighth grade boys which detracts from the magic of the scene but stay with me here. Before this mighty transformation, my problem was merely being the last, most socially and physically uncoordinated girl placed on the co-ed dodge ball team after the team captain begging otherwise in front of the whole class... Yeah, a sensitive time. But now, I was the new hot talk of the boys locker room. A high honor? Why Yes!! Indeed! I was 'asked out' daily! [a.k.a. invited to tell all my friends I had a boyfriend but really never talked to or had the guts to even look at in the routine passing] Regardless, the esteemed position of being a 'girlfriend' was the war of the little people and I was on the market, so to speak. I was in and out of relationships with 'popular' boys for months. With all the self inflicted drama, gossip and the all to famous plethora of notes webbed from friend to ex, from ex to cousin, from cousin to the current, to his friend, his friends girlfriend, and on and so forth. We all had something to say! I was eating up the attention and constant creation of more drama! I'm not sure why we loved it so much but my group of friends had being ruthless down to a science.
This became a way of life. Turning me into a ugly, mean little girl with a bad attitude and boyfriend waiting list. Looking back at it now I would have been better off being the human duckling with a bad haircut! I didn't have one genuine friend and heaven knows I didn't have one genuine 'boyfriend,' obviously, since it was the 'going out' way to not speak or make eye contact with your 'boyfriend/girlfriend.' By the beginning of freshman year I had chosen drama over friendships and was now isolated and back to the maggot at the bottom of the food chain using better fashion sense.
Now that I am graduated and out of the small community that trains their youths' opinions of people, I have to just laugh at where my priorities were. I have the notes from the soap opera times of my life and it was a completely different girl writing those harsh words. I didn't value friendships or respect my peers like I was pretending to. Life evaluation can be a scary and brutal thing!
Looking back I am ashamed and humiliated at my childish behavior due to the valueless standards of middle school. I'm so glad I had the reformation I did! Can't go wrong growing up!
Your turn to take a jaunt down memory lane!
<3 stay gold!
p.s. Planner update: It is actually getting easier to jot down my necessary duties and obligations but I am still struggling with referring back to it [so basically it's pointless] This may be a similar problem for others as well. Let me know if you have a possible solution (:
From head to toe.
Try not to judge!
Butt crack part to a flat slicked down bob cut, snaggle tooth complimented by my over-sized ears and turtleneck. This is a fun intro.. . . .now to my non-matching light blue overalls with pink and pale orange striped knee high socks. Yes I was also the perfect vision of thin sporting my cage and double chin [that rhymed. cute.] I am certain every boy within 20 miles wanted me! HA!But No, the awkward personality wasn't bad enough I had to look like something from the human version of the 'Ugly Duckling' on steroids! :/ However, as hopeless as I clearly was I cleaned up quite nicely by the seventh grade. I was weaving real blonde through my hair, styling my hair and flaunting it. My style became all trendy name brand clothes and I had the attitude of a Hollywood diva. Boys were beginning to flock to me! Now let's keep in mind these are seventh and eighth grade boys which detracts from the magic of the scene but stay with me here. Before this mighty transformation, my problem was merely being the last, most socially and physically uncoordinated girl placed on the co-ed dodge ball team after the team captain begging otherwise in front of the whole class... Yeah, a sensitive time. But now, I was the new hot talk of the boys locker room. A high honor? Why Yes!! Indeed! I was 'asked out' daily! [a.k.a. invited to tell all my friends I had a boyfriend but really never talked to or had the guts to even look at in the routine passing] Regardless, the esteemed position of being a 'girlfriend' was the war of the little people and I was on the market, so to speak. I was in and out of relationships with 'popular' boys for months. With all the self inflicted drama, gossip and the all to famous plethora of notes webbed from friend to ex, from ex to cousin, from cousin to the current, to his friend, his friends girlfriend, and on and so forth. We all had something to say! I was eating up the attention and constant creation of more drama! I'm not sure why we loved it so much but my group of friends had being ruthless down to a science.
This became a way of life. Turning me into a ugly, mean little girl with a bad attitude and boyfriend waiting list. Looking back at it now I would have been better off being the human duckling with a bad haircut! I didn't have one genuine friend and heaven knows I didn't have one genuine 'boyfriend,' obviously, since it was the 'going out' way to not speak or make eye contact with your 'boyfriend/girlfriend.' By the beginning of freshman year I had chosen drama over friendships and was now isolated and back to the maggot at the bottom of the food chain using better fashion sense.
Now that I am graduated and out of the small community that trains their youths' opinions of people, I have to just laugh at where my priorities were. I have the notes from the soap opera times of my life and it was a completely different girl writing those harsh words. I didn't value friendships or respect my peers like I was pretending to. Life evaluation can be a scary and brutal thing!
Looking back I am ashamed and humiliated at my childish behavior due to the valueless standards of middle school. I'm so glad I had the reformation I did! Can't go wrong growing up!
Your turn to take a jaunt down memory lane!
<3 stay gold!
p.s. Planner update: It is actually getting easier to jot down my necessary duties and obligations but I am still struggling with referring back to it [so basically it's pointless] This may be a similar problem for others as well. Let me know if you have a possible solution (:
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Pro at the Intro...
ever feel like you need a name tag? A big bold sticker on your forehead containing the words 'Shannell, Building A, and yes, I have a Facebook." College is a lot of books, responsibility and a lot of awkward introductions! In order to survive you must master the art. In the last month I have met the same twenty four people at least twice a week and I still can't remember their names. Picture me, recognizing someone walking towards me in the hall and trying to get their attention by shouting out every detail about them except their name. "Hey Belt Buckle Guy!," "Oh, um yeah the girl with the sexy boyfriend!" :/ and my personal favorite, "You're the guy who's lap I accidentally became rather familiar with on the bus... twice. Yeah hi?" Yes! There have indeed been some less than graceful encounters with the dailys, not to mention the countless random one timers. Those aren't as painful as making a fabulous first impression and a fabulous second impression and a fabulous third impression and fourth and fifth and etc etc. You get the point. I'm pretty sure there should be a handbook on introductions... Within the last 24 hours I have 'met' 9 people I will hopefully meet again tomorrow and for the next week in order to remember their first name. I was told once that when I am introduced to someone I should relate something about them I will remember to their name. I have tried that... I have failed that. The one thing I find to relate ends up redirecting to what I want for dinner or wondering who really did see me slip and slide down the stairs in the computer science building. So the decision was made to not even bother thinking anything while trying to pick up someones name. If I end up running into them later [which is 90% of the time] then they must be worth asking what their name is again.
Basically I am here to say that everywhere at every time in our life we will meet new people and there is no way to make it less awkward... well besides looking down before you sit on the bus. That might improve your ability to say "Hello whats your name?" without apologizing for smashing his comfort zone with your butt. Regardless.. I have made a career out of creating widely awkward situations for everyone on the bus, in the hallway, subway and pretty much my every pathway. And in doing so, opening all new and unexpected doors to conversation that might not otherwise been started. Granted they are started at my expense... but I suppose it's the small price to pay for a common ice breaker... and in my case a guaranteed reputation breaker. Believe me as much as it sounds like it I am not the biggest loser on campus. I'm the biggest dweeb on campus but we don't talk about that. As far as creepers go I haven't made top 10 yet! I consider that an A++ on the freshman social scale(:
I have, however, had the high honor of meeting the all to common men with this sign taped to their chest:
Basically I am here to say that everywhere at every time in our life we will meet new people and there is no way to make it less awkward... well besides looking down before you sit on the bus. That might improve your ability to say "Hello whats your name?" without apologizing for smashing his comfort zone with your butt. Regardless.. I have made a career out of creating widely awkward situations for everyone on the bus, in the hallway, subway and pretty much my every pathway. And in doing so, opening all new and unexpected doors to conversation that might not otherwise been started. Granted they are started at my expense... but I suppose it's the small price to pay for a common ice breaker... and in my case a guaranteed reputation breaker. Believe me as much as it sounds like it I am not the biggest loser on campus. I'm the biggest dweeb on campus but we don't talk about that. As far as creepers go I haven't made top 10 yet! I consider that an A++ on the freshman social scale(:
I have, however, had the high honor of meeting the all to common men with this sign taped to their chest:
Tell me that's not screaming 'Total Babe!' When you enter into a place with a diverse variety of people this 'charming approach' may tickle someones fancy! There are the smooth talkers, the ones who say it all with a look and then of course you have the 'yeah I couldn't hide what I'm really thinking with a 4 ft wall' people [a.k.a] like me. This is the unfortunate and non preferred, permanent sign on my chest:
Well it goes without saying... I should be hanging out with the 'Intense Researchers of Individuals.'
Deciding how to approach an introduction can be tricky though. Should I be myself [overbearing, loud and sarcastic]?? Fake the 'Bad Girl' scene to either attract the wrong group or deflect the right one, Do I put on the 'happy go lucky' face with smiles and polite comments or should I completely shut down and avoid ever meeting anyone ever again!?!? HA! I can't help but meet people, ironically, in the 'cynical, you're an easy target for criticism, p.s. Hi I'm Shannell by the way' mode. This method doesn't seem to have the highest rating on the upfront friendly scale. Shocker! It is a strong belief of mine that we will always have someone who likes us and we will always have someone who dislikes us. So why not be the person they remember either way!(: Just talk loud in public, sing the songs you know and feed off awkward intros!!!
Planner 101= Success! Stay tuned for detes!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Perspective of Change.
ever feel like you could predict your life for the next 20 years? Down to your breakfast menu on July 17th next year, or how the weather will be on the night of May 5th 2029... Day to day routines can make us feel like machines, like we are mechanically programmed to stay in the scheduled yawn forever, leaving us with a clear and sad vision of what our life will be. Right?.. . . . WRONG! People change, feelings change, hearts, minds and hair colors change. Nothing about life is set in stone. From the time we can recognize it, our lives are constantly, and ironically changing. Lives can transform for the best or they can suddenly turn for the worst! Lately I have tasted a little bit of both.
I went home for the first time since I moved this weekend.. . . . I am not sure how to express the, dare I say, shock of how much the place I grew up had changed. Eighteen years and the most dramatic update was the changing of Albertson's to 'Fresh Market.' The mood and general chi was all wrong! I felt as though the doors to my future had closed. Opportunities dissolving with every 24 hour restaurant Richfield doesn't have. Looking at the small town I called home.. . . . Watching the friends I once knew so well move out and on with their dreams.. . . . realizing the harsh world waits for no one! Ready or not here change comes! For instance.. . . . .
You know home has changed when you come to visit and your greeting gift is the envious duty of cleaning out the attic! or you end up frantically filling your back seat with arm fulls of your precious childhood stuffed animals because the house is undergoing insanity-based 'spring cleaning,' saving all their lives! [yes, I will be driving around with the stuffed animal kingdom's entire population in my back seat] No big deal. Just feeling like Noah.. . . . I had another slow and painful change when I entered Amish country [a.k.a. Sevier County] without Wi-Fi. I was so worried about my millions of faithful blog readers having withdrawals due to the lack of my daily blog post. ;) Being deprived of the internet actually opened my eyes to how much I waste time with Facebook and all the useless addictions I have picked up. Some changes can completely alter who you planned on being. However, the altered you may be the unexpected hero/ heroine you were searching for! We will never know unless we sit back, holding to a controlled variable, and let the change happen. I am not so great at this simple concept. Change is my worst enemy, one of my biggest fears and at the same time my antidote for complete self destruction!!! [pause for dramatic effect] Okay a little much... But small changes have really helped me stay sane in my life. I have the urge to do eXtreme RADICAL things!!! Such as these crazy unheard of things: I either rearrange furniture, chop my hair off or dump my current boyfriend.. . . . Two of which ruin my life! :/ You know how intense moving the couch can be ;).. . . .We all have different ideas about change. We cope in our own ways. You might put on 10 pounds or add that to your rep in the weight room. Regardless.. change will happen, it can help your life or hinder your progress.
It all depends on your perspective!
P.S.
As far as my planner goal goes.. ha! shockingly I already lost it. But have no fear I bought a new one and I'm starting fresh!(: I will keep you updated on my new found adultness ;)
I went home for the first time since I moved this weekend.. . . . I am not sure how to express the, dare I say, shock of how much the place I grew up had changed. Eighteen years and the most dramatic update was the changing of Albertson's to 'Fresh Market.' The mood and general chi was all wrong! I felt as though the doors to my future had closed. Opportunities dissolving with every 24 hour restaurant Richfield doesn't have. Looking at the small town I called home.. . . . Watching the friends I once knew so well move out and on with their dreams.. . . . realizing the harsh world waits for no one! Ready or not here change comes! For instance.. . . . .
You know home has changed when you come to visit and your greeting gift is the envious duty of cleaning out the attic! or you end up frantically filling your back seat with arm fulls of your precious childhood stuffed animals because the house is undergoing insanity-based 'spring cleaning,' saving all their lives! [yes, I will be driving around with the stuffed animal kingdom's entire population in my back seat] No big deal. Just feeling like Noah.. . . . I had another slow and painful change when I entered Amish country [a.k.a. Sevier County] without Wi-Fi. I was so worried about my millions of faithful blog readers having withdrawals due to the lack of my daily blog post. ;) Being deprived of the internet actually opened my eyes to how much I waste time with Facebook and all the useless addictions I have picked up. Some changes can completely alter who you planned on being. However, the altered you may be the unexpected hero/ heroine you were searching for! We will never know unless we sit back, holding to a controlled variable, and let the change happen. I am not so great at this simple concept. Change is my worst enemy, one of my biggest fears and at the same time my antidote for complete self destruction!!! [pause for dramatic effect] Okay a little much... But small changes have really helped me stay sane in my life. I have the urge to do eXtreme RADICAL things!!! Such as these crazy unheard of things: I either rearrange furniture, chop my hair off or dump my current boyfriend.. . . . Two of which ruin my life! :/ You know how intense moving the couch can be ;).. . . .We all have different ideas about change. We cope in our own ways. You might put on 10 pounds or add that to your rep in the weight room. Regardless.. change will happen, it can help your life or hinder your progress.
It all depends on your perspective!
P.S.
As far as my planner goal goes.. ha! shockingly I already lost it. But have no fear I bought a new one and I'm starting fresh!(: I will keep you updated on my new found adultness ;)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
To each his own...
ever feel like you are the ultimate slacker? The one who, in a class dedicated to study, completely voices that you never have nor ever will sincerely study. I can't necessarily say I'm proud of it [although, I am so open about it I am positive the class has silently deemed me 'the prep'...potential failure of the college world] My nonexistent habit of studying is not due to a lack of trying. I have indeed attempted...well once.(: Okay it's not for everyone. However, it is socially frowned upon to not go to college. And to preferably gain a bachelor's degree at the least. So I enrolled in the 'College Student Success' class as recommended. One of the key points of the class is to establish good study habits and time management. Yeah.. Huge damper on my semi-effective...Okay let's be honest... my rarely effective method called Organized Chaos. But I decided to have an open mind and explore the subject since that is what intelligent college students do. Typically, I googled 'Time management method for unproductive people.' Shockingly... the results = a big fat zero! Why is that? Oh yeah! because it is common knowledge that diverse personality types have different life styles. Of course there is no google info for such a crazy idea as an organized planner for procrastinators/rationalizers! [a.k.a] ME! It would be super contradictory if there was. So I gathered my lovely thoughts on the matter...This is what I came up with? :/
HaHa Yeah! Welcome to the careless mind of an erratic! As for my priorities, spontaneity and adventure win over logic by a landslide! Clearly, searching deep for my inner organized, 'check list' personality won't help me with this quest to discover my [questionable] inner adult. I suppose shifting gears may help. I do have a profound, somewhat responsible droplet in me, believe it or not. I just tuck it away to preserve the fun, 'dumb blonde' persona I have worked so hard and bleached regularly to maintain ;)
CUTE RIGHT!(:"There is a test today? Worth 1/3 of my grade?" ha! Story of my life but I have learned that stressing and being angry at myself for not preparing better will only make the situation worse. Just brush it, flush it and carry on. The salutatorian from my high school once said, "Some people are smart at different things," and how right he is! But I still realize I have to do certain things to get all I can out of my college experience. I need to find the important things and make a plan to accomplish them [by important I do not mean hair appointments or texting that cute boy in apartment E]
You know when you become so consumed with the regular flow of your life... numb to daily difference because of structured expectations?. . . it happens to everyone. Sometimes I wonder.. is the person who we portray ourselves to be.. the real us? Are those checklist type of people dying to show their careless freedom? Are the erratic people secretly check-marking listed boxes? We become what is thought to be the only form of a successful student, parent, athlete or Wendy's employee. Whatever it is our interests drive us to do, I can't help but imagine what new and bright personalities are trapped within a 'scheduled' being.
I am going to experiment with my inner adult ;) I'm going to use a planner for 1 month and i will report back.
 |
| The only checklist I will ever use(: |
HaHa Yeah! Welcome to the careless mind of an erratic! As for my priorities, spontaneity and adventure win over logic by a landslide! Clearly, searching deep for my inner organized, 'check list' personality won't help me with this quest to discover my [questionable] inner adult. I suppose shifting gears may help. I do have a profound, somewhat responsible droplet in me, believe it or not. I just tuck it away to preserve the fun, 'dumb blonde' persona I have worked so hard and bleached regularly to maintain ;)
 |
| We all progress at different speeds. |
I do think about qualities needed to accomplish my goals... I just struggle following through. Every person has their own idea about what brings success. Mine is just a little unorthodox... okay let's face it, with my academic priority level I was lucky to graduate high school! Nevertheless I did, and I plan on graduating college. I doubt my laid back, cross my fingers, fly by the seat of my pants habits will get me through this time. I do however have one little trick that will never fail me regardless if my professors do or not. Drum Roll Please..............................
CUTE RIGHT!(:You know when you become so consumed with the regular flow of your life... numb to daily difference because of structured expectations?. . . it happens to everyone. Sometimes I wonder.. is the person who we portray ourselves to be.. the real us? Are those checklist type of people dying to show their careless freedom? Are the erratic people secretly check-marking listed boxes? We become what is thought to be the only form of a successful student, parent, athlete or Wendy's employee. Whatever it is our interests drive us to do, I can't help but imagine what new and bright personalities are trapped within a 'scheduled' being.
I am going to experiment with my inner adult ;) I'm going to use a planner for 1 month and i will report back.
It will require discipline but If we don't try something new we can't become or renew who we want to be.
10/21/2011
I will be an organized woman!
[but no guarantees] ;)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The GENESIS...
"Blog"... a word I commonly heard, but just like scores to last weeks college football game it went in one ear and out the other. But still, here I am [with a rather awesome blog if I do say so myself] surprisingly enjoying the wide opportunities to talk about myself(: Who wouldn't eat that up? Basically I struggled with a name for my online venting sesh. I was leaning toward something involving Murphy's Law "If something can go wrong, it will,"but more cleverly stated of course! While in the process of creating my Fab blog, Brilliant ideas were flowing in on what I could write about/ what to name my blog. I decided on the now published name at the switch of the light in my head. By titling this "ever feel like..." It gives the readers a way to connect and relate certain experiences to their lives.
We all have accidentally got in the wrong car; yelled someone's name and waved to a stranger; slipped, tripped and ate some serious crap with a very attentive audience. [you are picturing it in your head right now] I think sometimes we feel like the only dweeb out there but truth be told...you are. Just kidding! Everyone does embarrassing things, we all go through emotionally stressful times and I am here to vent and connect! Life is full of 'ever feel like' moments. Lets feel like it together!
So Welcome and Enjoy! :)
We all have accidentally got in the wrong car; yelled someone's name and waved to a stranger; slipped, tripped and ate some serious crap with a very attentive audience. [you are picturing it in your head right now] I think sometimes we feel like the only dweeb out there but truth be told...you are. Just kidding! Everyone does embarrassing things, we all go through emotionally stressful times and I am here to vent and connect! Life is full of 'ever feel like' moments. Lets feel like it together!
So Welcome and Enjoy! :)
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