Oh you know..just bein' a Bum.

ever feel like such a bum? I do!.. . . right now.. and yesterday and the last almost 19 years of my under productive life.  As I sit here listening to "I can't make you love me" by Bonnie Raitt [Yeah my Celine Dion Pandora radio station] not only am I feeling a little awkward considering the background music but I all the sudden am having an epiphany! Growing up is fun! but it sucks too. It must be the Refreshing Freedom! but then there's the endless responsibility.. or the Fabulous Freedom! with a side of bills, or all of the great Freedom! not to mention all the great stresses of wondering what to wear to find a man to take all the responsibilities and to pay all the bills. Ahh there's the main priority! I remember telling myself " When I'm in collage I'll wear all the newest most trendy clothes and shop for food at the health food store!" HA! Amazing how reality kicks you right in the face! Yes, you can recently find me at the local 32nd ward "munch and mingle" twice a month stocking my pockets, purse and depending on the main course my bra.  I'm in the 39th ward. But I don't mind shaking someone else's bishop's hand for next weeks dinner. Didn't you hear stake activities are the new health food store :/ I have to laugh when I look through my closet. Remember the newest trends I was going to have? Me either! I suppose what I do have can be mistaken for a $260.95 Buckle tissue paper in the right light. I mean I couldn't even blow my nose on the material they make you take out a loan to purchase. So when I look into my closet I see.. . . . Nothing. Then I look down into the packed bucket containing a very waded up mixture of 'clean', 'dirty', and 'still smalls clean' laundry. And yes, laundry bucket is the new closet! Anyway, I have become better at the 'sniff, shake and spray' method then I care to admit. Let's just say I am looking forward to hoodie season. There's that life altering issue. which is more dramatic then needed but I am on the freshman slacker program which means the few times a semester I actually do laundry, it's with daddy's quarters. Hence me on the constant job search!
Applying for a job is a joke in this town due to the two colleges within such a small area. Not to mention the more righteous competition down the hill.. . . . So on that note.. . . . I am unemployed, broke and using a 2 in 1 shampoo/ conditioner combo. I asked my dad what I should be for Halloween and he so cleverly responded with this gem of an answer " Rich." He has always had such creative costume ideas. I will just throw on my knock-off tissue paper V-neck and call it good since I am living on my dad's pocket book for now. oh I'm rich alright! Rich with love for the college life!
I pride myself on mastering the art of survival. It's a method I like to call the 'Smile, Share, To-Go Box, Call' Allow me to break it down for you: You Smile and get his attention... you Share your number.. Share your time and go to dinner... grab a To-Go Box.. then Call it a success and Call it a night! This is usually great for weekends when you already spent your allowance from dad on a triple run to Yogurt Land at midnight. But it is key to remember: buffets are usually taboo! you can  only eat so much in one sitting and you cannot take anything to go for tomorrows lunch! Tragic I know! Luckily if you can peg the right guy they won't even consider the buffet :) That's the beauty of such a large variety of men! I guess everything has its ups and down. The down side to the diversity of men is the ratio: for every normal guy there are six unbearably weird ones. Yes I have on occasion eves dropped on the wrong conversation between two.. . . . odd individuals. There is never a dull moment during my day.
Funny how in a small town like Richfield [where I grew up and went to school] I always tried to look good! But then I relocate to a big city full of opportunity and new people and I don't bother to wash my hair regularly. Why am I not putting all my energy into making a good rep for myself?? These are the questions I must ask myself as a college student. It is definitely one of the two options: 1) The uncontrolled result of being so overwhelmed with the pressures of adulthood and growing into a responsible, well rounded citizen? or 2) Faith that no matter how bad you look there is someone out there who adores the fact you just rolled out of bed and spent more time reheating last nights pizza for breakfast than brushing your hair? hmmm? It's safe to say I fall under #2! I have yet to meet another soul [aside from my roommate Amy/Emily] who assists me in populating the 2nd option. I suppose I should say I am slowly, very slowly.. but surely getting to #1!! And hey if not well.. . . . I always heard it's the thought that counts.. . . . Okay bad example of that cliche.
And now in conclusion I would like to say that I am learning the ways of a college student.. . . . granted they aren't the more classy nor effective of the adaptation methods but I vow to one day be organized, prepared and only attend my own ward "munch and mingle"...Ha!
Okay don't bet on that last one :)

My second Family! [and the more exciting one in my opinion]

Ever feel like the world is expecting a great blog from you? The problem is I don't have that exciting of a life. I am just a friendless, jobless and hilariously clueless college girl with too many class fees, past due assignments and non effective acne creams:/ Therefore, the pressure's on to find some new life changing topics to charm all the star-struck readers back home! Then I thought to myself... I have something AMAZING to blog about, right in front of me! How could I be so foolish?! She goes by the name of Amy Lindsay Heslop. Also known as Khloe, Alice, Emily, and Ames. What an entertaining read... my roommate in all her glory! I say cheers! "Cheers to the freakin' weekend" traditionally blasting on University Parkway, Cheers to the all night Mexican food binges, to every weird and genius plot to cause epic awkward on the shuttle, to the men we so intently discuss as if we have a chance, to the 'under 20 mentality' jokes we constantly crack and are the only two laughing, and most importantly cheers to the short month and a half we have known each other! We burp and announce bodily functions way to openly! NOTHING is sacred anymore. I must say sleeping in the same room as a complete stranger is rather bonding. Her insane grandpa snore can really encourage roommate affection--not!...... I think I could make a fortune by charging people to enter the "who's snore is it anyway" contest in apartment A1235. I could even cleverly hold it at 12:35 a.m. while Emily--oh.. . . .  I mean Amy is sleeping! Okay, bad idea! Granted it would be a Village weeknight hit! But I love her to much to expose her to such a crowd, Especially in our room.. . . . that would require me to clear a path.. . . . That's not happening... sooooo back to brainstorming. I do appreciate her though mostly cause she actually uses the stove! for something more then ramen too! Fabulous isn't it. There is never a dull nor hungry moment around this girl. Not only is the home-cooked meal a perk but she cleans up her mess as well! They don't make them like that anymore. She is indeed a gem. Partake:

That's Amy Heslop! Creepin behind me as usual! ;)

Me and Amy indeed have quite the times! College is an unpredictable world! We pretty much own it! mhmm.. yeah okay we are at the bottom of the totem pole at this point.. but I hear admitting it is the first step in overcoming it!? We intend to be a big deal someday!
I have a whole new family up here! There is a constant inside joke hovering in the air! I can't even tell you how lively our apartment is until 4 a.m. I have met more people from the 'knock and walk' system in my house then I could even imagine meeting in the halls of the university. Of course 96.3% of these random introductions in my living room are with the male species [not that I'm complaining] It's fun to walk out of the shower in nothing but a towel and dripping hair to a herd of returned missionaries.. Nothing like it :/ But if you knew my roommates well enough you would definitely understand how 'regular Joe' it is to have a tell all see all lifestyle. It has been grand central station day in and day out around here! [Huge adjustment for me. Back home having company at the house meant someone passed away or... well... let's just say we never had very happy visitors] I have become rather comfortable with the endless traffic of diverse men.  I suspect because of my five Beautiful, PSYCHO and yet Fabulous roommates, each having their own 'special' traits.
Take Rhiannon for example.. She is originally from England and she actually has a real [non 007] accent! You know the one all american boys will drool at the thought of?? Yeah! Let's just say she is very popular in the complex , especially with her many and rare experiences living abroad! She parades quite the variety of men through the apartment.. recently its the Marine :) Oh Yum!..anyway.. Then there is Randi.. The accomplished wedding planner/business woman, the petite busy-body with a charm no guy could resist! Who wouldn't chase a catch like that! Let's not forget Lauren.. The hilariously cultured, walking contradictory of stereotypes. I cant remember a time in the last month and a half I haven't completely died of laughter in her presence.. I especially adore some of her very 'coffee shop' habits like: actually driving to Barnes & Noble with full intent to sit down and read, and enjoy it!! Cute right! And my personal favorite.. "going for sushi" Yes! she actually finds the best place in town, suits up and "goes for sushi!" I am loving it! I feel like I am in an episode of 'Friends' with a better wardrobe around this one! There isn't a mixture of words to describe the next little treat in the apartment.. Carly.. anything I say about Carly will be an insulting understatement to her constant 24/7 mobile volume, her permanent smile and her intense gift to flip her thick brown hair while dominating the room, regardless of its size or its college student capacity. Then there is me and the one and only Amy, Emily, Khloe, Alice and Ames Heslop!  I have found it a true blessing to live with these priceless P.M.S.ing treasures! Not to mention their 7 dwarfs EACH. This is the only math you will see me do so you may want to take note of it: 5x7=35 men per day in this poor apartment. And on rare occasion there is one there for me :/. At any rate the personalities, looks and mental stability of this plethora range from boy to R.M., peter to perv, tomato to tomato, dumb to dumber and smokin' hot to just smokin' pot. Classy I know.
And I thought Sevier county had it all.. . . .
However, there are those bonding moments when the door and the windows are wide open; the cool, rainy air is flowing in and we are making fresh avocado while Jack Johnson's Banana Pancakes is quietly serenading the roomies but annoying me in the background [Dad, this is where I apply your famous words "Suffer in Silence"]Aside from that ...Those are the true bonding moments... Those are the times "I'm Lovin' the mood!" :) I wouldn't trade my 2nd family for anything or anyone.. . . . except Chad Micheal Murray.. . . . or a new car.. . . . and $50 in gas for the new car..or even $50 in gas for my car!
Hey it's every man for himself!....

Actually judging by the track record in this apartment I think it's safe to say there isn't a single man by himself!.. . .   Shoot I'm funny.

From left to right: Rhiannon (English)
Randi(Successful) Carly (Psycho) Amy (Fabulous)
Lauren (Trendy) Me (Duh!:)





<3

Men... such characters.

ever feel like you want to be the 'Allie' in some 'Noah's' life? Or have Danny and Rafe fight to win your affections? umm yeah...me either :/ Okay. Yes I do. I think every girl has this dream at one point or another. I have been in the 'college' world for one month and almost two weeks! Sounds not long but I feel like I have been here for a good six months. Anyway in the short time I have been up here, two hours away from home, I have had the privilege of meeting every possible version of man. Let's explore! The Tom Hanks: subtle,sweet yet slightly but tolerably awkward. The sexy, popular Tom Cruise with the "girlfriend" on one arm while blowing a kiss to the girl from C1218 with the other. Let's not forget the Johnny Depp, who is clearly the rustic sexy, mysterious but surprisingly stands alone. I have come across an occasional Matt Damon: to hot for his own good with only one interest, and its not woman, it's unfortunately his career... Yes! big disappointment for the herd of drooling girls he unconsciously avoids. The Vin Diesel: Strong, straight faced and fearless..Doesn't say much but Great bod though. ;) Luckily I met the gem Jack Black: most "Friend Zone" worthy guy in the world, while being hilariously charming at the same time. And my personal favorite.. The Chad Micheal Murray: Let's just pay our respects for a second...yum!

AHAAalala! This is the type of man who is subtle, and almost irritatingly nonchalant [I would also give my first born for him.] The BEAUTiFUL, quiet one who makes you work so hard for the least amount of convo possible. And funny thing is I know that. However, I do the work anyway... Yeah I can't explain it either. These types of guys are few and far between and are of precious value because of these honorable qualities: 

1. SOOO HOT! mhmm.. anyway.

2. There is a certain careless, relaxed charm about them, but they know when and what to care about

3. Unexpectedly brilliant

4. Discrete about their feelings which leaves you daydreaming 

5. Drama does not exist in their world... yeah I don't believe it either!

7. Thinking about them makes me lose count..

6. They have a subconsciously hidden sensitive side<3

8. They mean what they say. 

All these qualities and more make up the man I deem as Just a Dream. Why, you ask? Because while walking toward this guy I attempt [and epically fail] at making flirty eye contact more then I care to admit. And I fail because he doesn't notice the female species..ever..

So there was a point to my blog today..

Too bad I don't remember what it is..

Oh right! Men. There are so many types out there. 

Someone asked me the other day my type. I had such a complex answering this question. My preferred type and my actual type are two different things. I couldn't sit somewhere [the Hall of Flags for instance] and just point at "my type." There are the guys who walk the walk but don't talk the talk or they talk the talk but don't walk the walk so I'm just never certain. They might even talk the walk or walk the talk so really having a "Type" is just an ongoing experiment filled with awkward hugs, bad sushi and on Monday taking the long way to class. College boys can be a blessing but they can be a problem too. I ran into the Mormon version of Eminem last week and I must say some guys have quite the personality. And that's putting it mildly. 

I have always been a tad boy crazy! I like looking at all sorts of men but I will never walk up and pursue them, for a few reasons. 1) I don't go out of my way to meet guys, too lazy! 2) Sometimes you have to play hard to get & 3)They are good looking but you know they know how pretty they are so I decide to just spare my self esteem the swift kick and carry on! In my 18 years of life I have only had three guys approach me and ask for my number..odd?? haha umm...

Boys are daily becoming bigger pansies about the whole 'Alfa Male' concept! It's sad! They don't work for the girl they want anymore. If she isn't convenient she is just another dusty contact in his cell. 

I am pretty sure I am an amateur when it comes to men. So I will keep learning and keep blogging about it! ha! Out of the many characters I have met up here there hasn't been one who I didn't adore for his own special..ness?? 

Okay Ladies one last word of advice: Don't try to understand men, Don't expect special treatment until you get it and men are players.. learn to 'Play the Game!" ;)