CREEPIN' [no one appreciates the art these days]

ever feel like creepin'? I am currently in the popular "Hall of Flags" at Utah Valley University [a.k.a. the college student cat walk] and as the traffic of diverse walking victims stroll by I can't help but take the opportunity and cause awkward vibes! It's fabulous! Like this guy here with his huge backpack eating his weight in deli meat, or the three wanna-be runway models scoring an embarrassing Zero on the 'how you wear your heels' scale. I am pretty sure I have never found entertainment this good and for so cheap! BONUS! One of the perks of a college life for sure!
I have decided there is one ultimate gem in creation of a classic 'cricket' moment. You know the to often experience where there is that mutual silence and discomforting feeling between two strangers? Yes! It's pure Gold!!! The trick to achieving this peak of weird is the unusual yet constant and confident head turning gaze. When that person feels your eyes dig into the deepest depths of their vulnerable soul!!!.. . . . Well really they just notice you starring at them, then that is when you must not falter! Stay strong, consistent and comfortable with the fact that you may ruin someones day by making them feel as though the whole world is giving them the stink eye [which, by the way, I don't understand. What does the stink eye even look like? I think it is more of a stink face or a stink complete being. But I wont comment further on the subject] Anyway, now that the target has seen you looking at them and the dreaded eye contact is made you must flash the show stopping 'no teeth+big eye+stiff hand, mini wave' Combo! This is not easily done for the untrained hallway creeper. However, with the right location and a 'creep master' who appreciates a good long disturbing second, the widely desired skill can be conquered! I must say there are some indeed interesting people in the world. I must also mention the vital step prior to the rarely accomplished creep moment I am describing here. The selection of the victim.. . . . This is a crucial time prior to the eye contact that you must master. Sit mid-hallway, continuously looking left and right for a fresh herd of meat, [Just a word of advice to the more advanced creep: don't have anything on your lap, don't look busy and be up straight.] This helps you maintain the " Ha! Yes I am just sitting here to make you feel weird," look, and most importantly... smiles are forbidden until the prime moment! As you scan the hall for some good prey look for the three signs of insecurity.
1: They are alone.
2: The are carrying the maximum amount of baggage. (backpack, laptop, longboard preferably)
3: They look like they have somewhere to be. (This way their eyes are scanning & scanning, giving you a good in.)
Now as the poor helpless prey approaches look at them with deep intent. They will feel your gaze and do one of three things. They will either look at you and look away quickly hoping you didn't notice, They will look at you with a straight calm face and give you the nod [but in the back of their head freaking because a complete creep is eyeing them down] or, on the slight chance they have the guts and confidence enough, they will flash the same beautiful look at you that you are pulling on them. Great Moment when you connect with a fellow creeper! I live for this moment! Lesson plan over.
TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS!
AS FOR THE SECOND SECTION OF MY BLOG TODAY!
. . . . . . . . . . . . .There isn't one. (: