It's all changing. [on a serious note]

ever feel like you're conquering your biggest fear every day? Like what used to threaten your happiness is now building it up to a whole new height? Goodbyes used to scare me to death! I would avoid them like the plague because a goodbye meant a change. A change in how I felt, what I did, who I was... adjusting to something new seems like a challenge but letting go of what was once there is a far more challenging thing. There is a huge gap between being a teen and an adult, there is no one second when you transform. I believe we become adults on the journey to finding ourselves. In taking on responsibility and experiences that may be painful to accept. I am at the bottom of a very steep hill to growing up. The past eight months have been unreal. I have had two jobs (one of which I still have thank goodness) I have taken on so much and the child I was eight months ago is looking at me with wide eyes in amazement. I watch the traffic outside my kitchen window and wonder where each one of those cars is headed. It is so easy to feel insignificant to the world, I'm ten years from an associates, I live paycheck to paycheck, I'm the only single nineteen year old this side of the west hemisphere, and I'm losing my hair [okay I just added that for dramatic effect] but you know what... I wouldn't have it any other way. I am so small in comparison to the world, even Orem, Utah but I'm doing great things for my small existence. That is all any of us can do. I'm realizing every day what is really important, right now is the time to try new things and find myself in the difference of every day. A car payment and rent every month may take up every last dime but the feeling of independence is priceless. The fear of that independence was right up there with my fear of separation but I am doing it. I am making the change that I once turned my head to. The other day someone told me "You just have to be okay with who you are on your own, find the strength in yourself to wake up every morning and decide to be happy," and that is so true. Friends come and go, roommates become your family only temporarily. I just have to be okay with that. As two of my roommates moved out I held back tears and hid the fear of saying goodbye. A great life awaits both of them and I couldn't be happier for them. It took nineteen years to realize this but my fears are selfish. I know now that it is okay to say goodbye, it is alright to change. I shouldn't fear improvement in myself.
I deactivated my facebook for a month and I can't begin to tell you how much I didn't miss it. I made some great friends meanwhile and prioritized everything in my life. I decided to step out of "the loop" and into myself. Every day has had a valuable lesson.
I had to reactivate it so I can stop missing out on family time ;)
This time I mean it when I say I'm back to blogging!
WHOOHOO!
Up coming events:
A segment on customer service :/ never a dull moment in pleasing strangers!
Stay Tuned.